so text me in the morning; tell me you still love me

[cocanuts]

[continued memes]

Comments

[inflections]

[ people say a lot of things about them, about nic especially. and while at first she might have been inclined to heed some of those warnings, she doesn't now. nic has always been kind in his own way, even if he doesn't show it very often, and in the quiet moments like these they mean a little more.

she uncurls a little from her spot, one knee bumping lightly against his. ]

You'll make Nina sad if you do.

[upperdosed]

[his eyes close at the thought. it's true but at the same time he tries to pretend he's not attached because on some level he really isn't. and yet...]

Don't try to guilt me.

[something clicks in nic's mind and he looks away from alex before he stands up from the couch. he hesitates for a brief second and then makes a beeline to some clutter on a nearby tabletop. nic is clearly looking for something in the pile.

when he finally finds the bottle, he turns to alex again.]

She's tough. She'd be ok.

[inflections]

I'm not.

[ nic can't hear her small huff of laughter but she isn't trying to hide it anyway. when he leaves the couch, she turns towards the empty spot, leaning into the residual body heat that lingers on the worn leather.

alex doesn't need to see the label on the bottle to know what it is, looking up at him beneath her fringe. her smile softens. ]

Yes. And she still has us.

[ but the pain would still be there. ]

[upperdosed]

[he plops back down on the couch, sighing softly.]

I'm still here, dammit.

[nic gives the bottle a firm hard shake, as if he's trying to feel how many pills are in the bottle. there's not many. probably just enough for two dosages. he watches alex as he unscrews the cap, gently tapping out just enough pills. nic pauses just long enough for it to be noticeable before dumping the rest of the bottle into his hand.

in an instant he downs all of the pills and places the now empty bottle on the floor.]

[inflections]

[ she watches him as he shakes the bottle, tapping out a few pills into his broad hand. alex doesn't know enough about celebre aside from the bare minimum, that nic needs it to survive. but when he shoves the rest of the pills in his mouth, panic seizes her for a moment and she's reaching for him too late, chilled fingers wrapped around his wrist.

but the moment passes and she takes a deeper breath, fingers loosening their grip to linger against his palm. she signs against his skin, slowly, carefully. ]

You're still here.

[upperdosed]

[for a moment, he tenses being grabbed like that. they've come a long way in terms of personal space and pushing nic's own comfort zone. but nic still has his moments of pushing away others. however it seems today is one of those days that nic's mood is a tolerable one because instead of shrinking away from her grasp, he takes alex's hands into his own.

he pulls her hands closer to him and in this moment he tries to comfort her.]

Alex... you're here too.

[inflections]

[ nic's hands fold over hers easily, warm and broad, callouses dragging over the softer skin on the back of her hands. she's always liked them, eyes drawn to them even when he's not signing. people tend to tell her he's dangerous, that she can't stay with them forever, but she's never felt safer in her life than in this moment. ]

I know, [ she says, slowly, enunciating each word. he's trying, and she's never really expected him to, but it speaks volumes in itself. ] Who else will help you pick glitter off your hands in the middle of the night?

[upperdosed]

[if only alex knew what kind of background nic grew up in... perhaps she'd understand just why he was branded as dangerous. but, nic would never tell her. it's a sad past that doesn't bare repeating in nic's opinion. but it's also not entirely a secret if alex knew where to look and who to ask.

gently, he squeezes her hands, pulling one of his back.]

Tch... [he's annoyed, typical nic.] I can take care of myself. Always have, always will.

[inflections]

[ if only she knew. then again, it doesn't take a lot to know just by looking at nic that he is dangerous. alex knows that as warm and gentle as his hands are around hers, they can fit just as easily around her throat and she wouldn't be able to stop him. but the same hands have held her steady more times than she can remember anyone else doing for her, and it's strange how things work. how someone can embody both of those things at the same time.

she pats his remaining hand lightly and holds back another amused huff. ]

Sure.

[upperdosed]

Not good at housework stuff is all.

[and he means it sincerely. sure nic is great at fighting, excellent swordsmanship, and is perfectly capable of empathy and understanding the emotions of a situation. but he's got zero skills in self-preservation and menial housework labor. even the simple act of cooking tends to be a nuisance if it's not from a can. but just as his background is a reflection of his 'dangerous being' so too are his skills.

he let's out his own huff of breath.]

Can't be good at everything.

[inflections]

You don't have to be.

[ everyone is good and bad at something. at the end of the day, she's just as bad at self-preservation, always the first to put herself in the line of fire for others. she cares too much, despite all the things she's been through. but she's also still here, still alive. that has to count for something. ]

I can teach you. Cooking.

[upperdosed]

Then we'd have to fire you and Worick.

[ it's a joke but he shakes his head no. he's not really interested in skills like cooking or learning trivial information on how to remove glitter from your body. he's got a short life span and wants to fill it with fighting. maybe the occasional hangout with a friend or kitten rescuing. but nothing more, nothing less.]

Got to keep job security somehow.

[inflections]

If you say so.

[ she wasn't expecting anything different, but the offer was there anyway. she shifts in her spot, turning to face him and tucking her legs up against her. it's easier to forget the chill now, with their hands still loosely held together and knees occasionally bumping against each other. things will be different in the morning, when there's less room for quiet moments like these, but that's something to be considered later. ]

Better this way. Seeing you fold clothing was a little strange.

[upperdosed]

Tch.

[his eyes roll as he shakes his head. with another 'tch' he closes his eyes and shifts slightly in his spot on the couch to better trap his warmth. he might be a space heater with his broad limbs but he still gets cold at times. when he's finally settled in comfortably, he opens his eyes, and looks at alex.]

Your signing- [a brief pause.] has gotten better.

[he leaves it at that. usually he wouldn't have commented on such things but he appreciates the effort and alex had noticeably improved in her communication. and what better moment to comment on the improvement then now?]

[inflections]

[ he usually wouldn't, would more likely say the opposite or that he can't understand her. it's never deterred her from practicing, but now that she's gotten that acknowledgement, she almost doesn't know what to say. ]

Thank you. [ small movements, hesitant. ] Still need practice. I can't keep up with you sometimes.

[ though that might be a little less her fault and more that nic is an asshole. but that's just the way he's always been. ]

[upperdosed]

You can't be good at everything.

[most of it lays with nic being an asshole. but he once learned from, in nic's opinion, a bigger asshole. he hesitates before signing the next part.]

Work on your speed.

[and just like that he's back to being an ass.]

[inflections]

[ when isn't he an ass, though, is the real question. she blows her bangs out of her face with a huff. ]

Work on your attitude.

[ a joke, despite the frown. there's no real heat behind it, anyway; this is how he always is, and she's gotten used to it. but two can play this game, and she nudges his shin with her foot. ]

[upperdosed]

[he responds in possibly the most childish way, by sticking out his tongue and poking her shoulder. honestly, alex really is working for two giant toddlers. nic smirks, shaking his head to disagree.]

This is my best attitude, I don't know what you're talking about.

[he places emphasis on the best by making the sign a bit wider than the rest, looking alex in the eye as if to dare her to challenge his superiority in attitude.]